A new culture of openness and honesty at Barclays

Stung by criticism - and £290 million in fines for manipulating Libor rates - Barclays has decided to create a culture of openness and honesty in the way it does business.

As well as Bob Diamond and a few of his cronies (who knew nothing of what was going on, of course) waiving their bonuses, the bank has decided to change its logo to more accurately reflect the way it does business.

Gone is the Barclays' eagle. It has been replaced by the Barclays' vulture.

The slogan for 2012 "Quietly conquering the world of finance" will also be replaced by the more honest slogan "filling our pockets out of yours."

Signed Football for sale

 The Lakelander's Emporium of Tat is proud to offer both our readers the chance to own one of the footballs that were used in last night's match against Italy.

Certain to become a collector's item, this one has been signed by both Ashley Young and Ashley Cole, who earn £2.5 million and £5 million a year respectively for kicking one of these things around a field.

Jimmy Carr's new tour

We went to see Jimmy Carr a few years ago when he played a local venue.

He simply wasn't funny and came across as a rather unpleasant little man with a downright dirty sense of humour.

We left during the interval.

As he has managed to save so much tax over the years, do you think it would be worthwhile writing to him and asking for our money back?

Before anyone asks

Dr Lakelander will not be going on strike this Thursday.

Her view is that doctors are on a pretty good deal at a time when many of their patients are facing real hardship. Actions like this do nothing for the image of a profession that has been held in such high regard by most people in this country.

Prime Minister to have pub named after him

Now, have I forgotten something?

HM The Queen says she will never abdicate

Though for one of her sixty million subjects, this isn't the news he was hoping for this weekend....