"To die will be an awfully big adventure"
Peter Pan
Friday, 26 June 2009
Friday, 19 June 2009
You couldn't make it up
From Retail Week:
WHSmith and Tesco slammed over Josef Fritzl book
WHSmith and Tesco have both come under fire after displaying a book about notorious Austrian criminal Josef Fritzl as a suggested Father’s Day gift.
WHSmith displayed the book as one of its “Top 50 Books for Dad” and a Tesco store in Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, caused alarm for some customers when it displayed the book as a suggested Father’s Day gift.
Fritzl has caused headlines around the world after keeping his daughter imprisoned in his basement for 24 years.
A Tesco spokesman said: “It was never our intention to cause offence to any of our customers. It was placed there by mistake and has been removed.”
WHSmith also said that it would rectify the mistake.
The essential accessory for any MP
Members of Parliament:
Are you concerned that your constituents might find out what you've been spending their taxes on?
Have you been changing your primary residence every other year to avoid CGT?
Deep down, are you a grasping and greedy freeloader who expects the taxpayer to fund a lifestyle you could never support by doing a normal job?
Well now there's no need to worry. This black marker pen will keep all your grubby secrets from public scrutiny. However excessive, however ridiculous, your claims will be hidden with just a few strokes of this amazing pen.
Cost: £1 - but we'll give you a receipt that says it cost £5, so you can claim for it on expenses!
Have you been changing your primary residence every other year to avoid CGT?
Deep down, are you a grasping and greedy freeloader who expects the taxpayer to fund a lifestyle you could never support by doing a normal job?
Well now there's no need to worry. This black marker pen will keep all your grubby secrets from public scrutiny. However excessive, however ridiculous, your claims will be hidden with just a few strokes of this amazing pen.
Cost: £1 - but we'll give you a receipt that says it cost £5, so you can claim for it on expenses!
Saturday, 13 June 2009
The Prince
Meet Peter Benjamin Mandelson, Baron Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham. His job titles include First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills and Lord President of the Council.
Clearly a busy chap, who's obviously done well for himself after those unfortunate incidents (involving a mortgage from a fellow minister and the passports for those nice Indian gentlemen) forced him to resign on two occasions.
But now he's back - as the unelected de facto Deputy Prime Minister, pulling the strings of the unelected Prime Minister. As members of his Cabinet either self-destruct or plot against him, Gordon Brown is increasingly relying on his support.
Peter Mandelson is a deeply flawed character could only have been created by the pen of Nicollo Machiavelli. Vain, scheming, divisive, jealous, underhand and treacherous, he was one of the architects of so-called "New Labour."
But despite his seemingly unassailable position at the heart of British politics, you just know it's going to end in tears, don't you?
Peter Mandelson is always at his most reckless and vulnerable when he's apparently "on the up."
Therefore, can a third resignation in disgrace be so far away?
Clearly a busy chap, who's obviously done well for himself after those unfortunate incidents (involving a mortgage from a fellow minister and the passports for those nice Indian gentlemen) forced him to resign on two occasions.
But now he's back - as the unelected de facto Deputy Prime Minister, pulling the strings of the unelected Prime Minister. As members of his Cabinet either self-destruct or plot against him, Gordon Brown is increasingly relying on his support.
Peter Mandelson is a deeply flawed character could only have been created by the pen of Nicollo Machiavelli. Vain, scheming, divisive, jealous, underhand and treacherous, he was one of the architects of so-called "New Labour."
But despite his seemingly unassailable position at the heart of British politics, you just know it's going to end in tears, don't you?
Peter Mandelson is always at his most reckless and vulnerable when he's apparently "on the up."
Therefore, can a third resignation in disgrace be so far away?
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Blogging has been light
After many years of using Microsoft Windows based PCs (and before that MS-Dos based ones) I was finally persuaded by my colleagues at work to start using an Apple Macbook.
Whilst I admire the design qualities, the changeover has not been as smooth as I would have hoped. I got my first "proper" computer (a Commodore 64) 26 years ago and I think it is probably easier to change your religion than to go from Windows to Apple.
The biggest hassle has been the fact that it would not "talk" to my Blackberry and so I am now the owner of an iPhone. This is the first smartphone or PDA that I have ever owned that doesn't have a "to do" list as standard, which tells me a lot about the sort of people who like Apple kit.
Update: I've now discovered that the iPhone won't talk to the bluetooth cradle in my car. It seems the answer is to buy another cradle. This is proving to be a very expensive week.
But - I am slowly getting there. My normal service of mocking the political class will be resumed soon...
Whilst I admire the design qualities, the changeover has not been as smooth as I would have hoped. I got my first "proper" computer (a Commodore 64) 26 years ago and I think it is probably easier to change your religion than to go from Windows to Apple.
The biggest hassle has been the fact that it would not "talk" to my Blackberry and so I am now the owner of an iPhone. This is the first smartphone or PDA that I have ever owned that doesn't have a "to do" list as standard, which tells me a lot about the sort of people who like Apple kit.
Update: I've now discovered that the iPhone won't talk to the bluetooth cradle in my car. It seems the answer is to buy another cradle. This is proving to be a very expensive week.
But - I am slowly getting there. My normal service of mocking the political class will be resumed soon...
Monday, 1 June 2009
If you want to know how to fiddle your tax return
Then who better a person to ask than the Chancellor of the Exchequer?
This is the MP who flipped his nominated second home four times in four years.
This is the MP who, having been given a grace and favour home at 11 Downing Street, still expected the taxpayer to fund the service charge on the flat in London that he was now renting out (but was still claiming mortgage payments on.)
Sir, we ordinary tax payers salute your! The next time HMRC query anything on our tax returns, we'll suggest they ring "Al" and find out what he would consider to be honest....
(click image to enlarge...)
This is the MP who flipped his nominated second home four times in four years.
This is the MP who, having been given a grace and favour home at 11 Downing Street, still expected the taxpayer to fund the service charge on the flat in London that he was now renting out (but was still claiming mortgage payments on.)
Sir, we ordinary tax payers salute your! The next time HMRC query anything on our tax returns, we'll suggest they ring "Al" and find out what he would consider to be honest....
(click image to enlarge...)
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