One rule for all?

An announcement from the Home Secretary

(Click photo to enlarge...as it were....)

Today, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith announced the appointment of a new "Porn Tsar" as part of her crackdown on pornography.

The job will involve viewing films to see if they contain hardcore content and visiting lapdancing clubs to see if there is any lewd behaviour being performed.

In addition to a £40,000 per annum salary, the appointee will receive, he will also be allowed to claim all reasonable expenses that are incurred in his investigations, such as film rental, club membership fees and KY jelly.

The Home Secretary said that she had a short list of suitable candidates and that one in particular might save her from having to resign be ideally qualified for the role.

Home Secretary's husband apologises

Richard Timney, husband of Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, has apologised for watching pornographic films which were included in Jacqui Smith's expenses claims as an MP.

But what if it wasn't him who was taking such a close interest in women cavorting round a bedroom?

Every time I see a photo of Jacqui Smith, she always appears to be wearing very comfortable shoes...

A cause for concern?

There is an interesting website that analyses home pages and, based upon the language used, works out whether the author is a man or a woman. It's called Genderanalyzer.com (note the US spelling.)

This is the result that I got back. Hmm....

Considering that I used to play prop forward for my school and university rugby teams and have hobbies that involve guns and British sports cars, I'm wondering just where I'm going wrong with this blog.

Perhaps I should swear more in future?

Update: so worried am I by this rating, I've decided to run Genderanalyzer on the rest of my blog roll to find out whether the author is male or female.

The results are: Idle - 51% male, Tuscan Tony 88% male, Iain Dale 100% female (!) Guido Fawkes 96% male, Theo Spark 85% female, Curly 57% male, Cranmer 65% male, Dizzy 74% male, Apricotfox 63% female, Croydonian 59% female, Electro Kevin 51% male, Barnsley Bill 57% male, Scroblene 91% female, Lilith 51% female, Chris Paul 70% male, Richard Havers 81% male, Capitalists@work 61% male, Trubes 62% female, Fleet of Worlds 61% male and Blue Eyes 51% female.

While Tuscan Tony and Guido Fawkes clearly have an over-abundance of testosterone in their content, I'm not sure what it tells the world about the rest of us.

I hope I've not upset anyone by publishing these results, but I do feel obliged to break the news gently to Theo and Iain. Anyone who has visited Theo's blog will be as amazed as I am - half of it is firearms and totty!

Gordon's Brazilian

In keeping with the tradition for Brazilian footballers to use nicknames, rather than their own names, Gordon Brown receives a shirt with the name that most world leaders use for him.

Mr Hannan, the Prime Minister has sent you a present...

Isn't the internet an amazing place?

There I was, innocently trawling through Google Images, looking to stock up on some more photos of our favourite Prime Minister, when I came across THIS. It's a figurine in miniature of Gordon, in the very act of his own Quantitative Easing....nice!

What a wonderful present it would make for Dan Hannan MEP....and how appropriate it would be, coming from someone who has been crapping on all of us since 1997.

(The Daily Telegraph ran a story about this rather odd Catalan tradition of using such figures in Nativity scenes here.)

Good news - Barack Obama tells Americans he sees signs of economic recovery

And here's how he is seeing those signs....

Tip of the day - don't invite Gordon to your exhibition

From The Daily Mail 19th March 2009:

Next year's British Motor Show has been cancelled because of the crisis in the car industry.

It is the first time the iconic show has been cancelled - apart from during the two World Wars - since it began more than 100 years ago.

Organisers blamed the economic downturn and the 'unprecedented challenge' facing the UK's beleaguered motor industry.

Last year's show was attended by Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

Time to scrap the old banger?

So now the government plans to give £2,000 of taxpayers' money to motorists to scrap cars that are over 9 years old and buy new ones.

I have a better idea about what should be heading for the scrapheap....

Notorious Conman to face life in prison

The man behind the worst Ponzi scheme in history is set to spend the rest of his life enjoying a pension that would cost £3 million to fund in the private sector behind bars.

Gordon Brown Bernie Madoff conned thousands of people with an economic miracle based on ever-increasing house prices and easy credit for all investment schemes that offered unrealistically high returns.

The authorities believe that he could not have carried out a con on this scale without help from others. Investigations are to continue into the role played by the Labour Party members of his family and it is expected that they will be chucked out on their ears at the next election will also face prosecution in the near future.

Spotted on Ebay

(Click to enlarge to full size)

Does Gordon Brown have no shame? Obama gives him a set of 25 DVDs, including such classics as Psycho and The Godfather and what does Gordon do with them?

Visit Donal Blaney's blog to see what interpretation he puts on Obama's choice of films. Do you think he was trying to tell Gordon something?

Hat-tip to Theo Spark for the idea.

Quantitative Easing - A Beginner's Guide

I don't normally offer investment advice on this blog, but I'm about to buy shares in companies that make wheelbarrows....

Teddy Kennedy to be knighted

For services to road safety and family values perhaps?